eyelessoracle: a reflection

( important / must read sections will be marked with an astrisk ( * ) )

oracle's genesis.

( the story behind this site )

i remember how this site came about in 2019. i was 13 ( going on 14 ) and about to finish
my last year of middle school. around this time, i was starting to dive into the wonderful world of late 90s/early 2000s
mall goth culture. on this journey, i ended up stumbling upon a site called losers.org. by default, i clicked on the goths category
and saw all of the not-so-nice comments made by the anons on there. however, i went to the sites linked and immediately fell in
love with the overall look of the sites. i've always been a sucker for the old web and obsolete technology, but this was like a whole new
world for me. i eventually started to become a frequent user of the wayback machine as well, spending hours and hours going through
deadsites made by the mall goths of the past. then, i remembered that this site called neocities.org existed and that was another game changer
for me. to see that people were still making websites like the ones that were made about 20-25 years ago now was awesome, especially considering
how corporate and minimalist the social media side of the internet has become. then, i thought to myself what if i made a website just like the ones
i've been viewing?. and, thus, eyelessoracle.neocities.org was born! i used the same username i was using on instagram and tumblr at the time ( which,
if you are wondering, is a mashup of one of my favorite slipknot songs and my favorite kittie album ).

oracle's heyday.

( the peak / glory days of this site )

this site quickly became my internet baby for the rest of 2019, which still remains the best year of my life so far due to other things
that were going on in my life. i was able to dabble in coding and tap even more into my creative side by making graphics for this site from scratch.
through this site, i was able to create awesome memories and met cool people i would have otherwise never met. this site further enhanced the authentic
late 90s/early 2000s mall goth experience that i was trying to emulate at the time. even when 2020 came and the site updates started to slow down, i was still on here
a good bit, especially since the pandemic hit and i literally couldn't do anything else but stay inside and frequent the internet ( like millions of other people in the world ).

oracle's decline.*

( why site updates slowed down and eventually stopped
for over 2 years )

if you have noticed, the site updates started to slow down and completely stopped sometime mid 2021. this is because 2021 was a tough year for me,
as my depression came back full force mainly due to being stuck inside all year doing remote learning ( against my will ) and the state of the relationship i was in
at the time. even though the site updates stopped, i had a deadjournal that i kept up with until november of 2021. by january of 2022, i had completely lost all of the interest
and motivation i had to keep updating this site, as well as to keep up with other creative endeavors i had at the time. the things isolation-induced depression and a horrible breakup
from a long-term relationship can do to a person, am i right?

oracle's life updates.

( what i've been up to )

2022 was a tough year for me, mainly due to me still processing the breakup. i honestly don't remember most of 2022 due to my mental state at the time, but
2023 made up for that! i got to do a lot of cool things, which includes going out of the country for the first time ever, zip lining, and seeing beyonce in concert!
i also graduated high school ( woohoo! ) in june of 2023. so glad to be done with grade school, lol. i've completed my first semester of college, as well.

oracle's evolution.*

( how i've changed since started this site )

at the time of writing this, i'm 18 ( and a half ). there some things that have remained the same. i still deeply love the technology of the past and what the internet used to be before the early-mid
2010s. i'm still alternative (it wasn't a phase, lol), but i just don't go by specific labels under that umbrella now as i could probably classify as multiple of them now. for the most part,
though, i've changed quite a bit since i started this page at 13. i'm an adult now ( which is still insane to me ). i don't listen to nu-metal much anymore ( still love industrial metal, though ). my
personal style and aesthetic tastes have changed a good bit. i wouldn't consider myself a mall goth anymore. pretty much everywhere else, i've retired the eyelessoracle username, as i feel like i've
grown out of that period of my life. it doesn't really reflect who i am now, and when i read that user, i automatically think of who i was and where i was in life circa 2019-2021. one last major
change that i would like to point out is the fact that i'm not super passionate about coding anymore. it was interesting at first, but over time, i realized that it wasn't the technical side of
web design i was interested in. it was the visual side of it involving the ui and graphic design that captivated me. this would explain why i always put effort into the graphics for this site, but my coding
skills haven't progressed past basic html, lmao. in recent times, i've put more of my energy into creating things with adobe after effects, photoshop, illustrator, and even blender
to further improve my digital art / graphic design skills so that i can express my artistic vision better.

oracle's goodbye.*

( my last words and farewell )

as i said in the previous section, i've grown out of eyelessoracle. i am happy with how this website ended up turning out and the places it took me, but i think it's time for me to
officially bow out from this site. i know it would be more on brand to just leave with no explanation like a lot of old webmasters and webmistresses did back in the 90s and 2000s, but you guys
deserve a proper goodbye. during the time i was active on here, you guys were nothing but kind to me. the neocities community has some of the best websites and most creative people on the
whole wide web. i will never forget about you guys and this website. if you guys still want to keep up with me, just shoot me an e-mail at mercifuloracle@aol.com ( yes, i actually check this thing )
or sign my guestbook saying you're interested and i will kindly give you my socials! other than that, as of january 2024, eyelessoracle is no longer being updated. thank you all for
checking out my site over the years. as i always said, stay safe and i love you guys. for one last time, peace out! <3