F R E A K

what it's like to be an "alternateen".


to put it in a nutshell, it's awesome, yet it sucks at the same time.
on this page, i'll cover why it's cool to be a metalhead/goth/"rivethead"
hybrid, and why it's not so kewl to be one. enjoy this if you decide
to dive in and read! :-)



*+*+the good side+*+*

online, at least, i've found a bunch of people with the same
interests and people who are accepting of me and judge-free! even if
it's alternative or not! :-)
people are also usually nice to me here on the interwebs,
no matter how i look like or what i like. even when i'm struggling or not at my greatest
point in life, people are there and understanding and can relate. this is more than a "goth thing",
i know, but if this was real life, people would just amount me to almost nothing. lol.
i can also find new music to listen to through people and get help finding out about anything if i need
to! sadly, i've not found that many alt people irl, as the last one who would be considered "emo"
was not a good friend at all. that's not an emo thing, really. that just her not being a great person.
by the way, shoutout to all of my emos if you're reading this! if you're kewl, you're kewl! :-)


the BAD side.

now, lemme start of by saying that i've been bullied/had problems with people in school
since way before i turned alternative. bullying sucks and i don't like people who bully. it can mess
with people for years, or maybe the rest of their lives. this includes me. so, PLEASE don't bully
people no matter their gender, race, sexual orientation or their interests (as long as said interests
aren't harming or hurting anybody) and spread kindness and love! <3
now, onto the bad side of this stuff. at school, i'm pretty much an outcast and left out of things.
i suffer from anxiety + depression, so those two obviously don't help. i'm also made fun of by classmates
and pretty much have a rep at school as "that weird girl" or a "devil worshipper". i constantly get made fun
of for the way i dress and the stuff that i like. keep in mind that i like a BUNCH of "non-hardcore" things like
plushies and britney spears (if you ask me, both of those things are metal af). yet, people still stick with the
narrative that i'm this evil-spirited girl who hates all people and wants to kill everyone while listening to metal
and sacrificing goats for satanic rituals in her spare time.
to be honest, you guys, i LOVE goats and i wouldn't even dare to hurt one. EVER. they're so kute! <3 anyways,
in class once, i was told not to be messed with (because this other girl kept bothering me) or else, i would cOME
BACK TO THE SCHOOL AND KILL EVERYBODY. excuse my language, but W H A T. T H E. F U C K.
they think that just because of my apperance that i'm gonna become the female eric harris or some shit. now,
that's just freaking bonkers. also, as well as being a POC metal-goth, it sucks when other POC people at my school ridicule
me for not fitting the stereotype and not listening to mainstream hip-hop/rap. i've been told i wasn't a POC once and
quizzed on rappers. now, aint that some bullshit.



to the people who actually read this, i would like to say congrats for making it through.
as i said earlier, i hope you guys enjoyed this and some of you guys maybe relate to some of this.
idk. despite all of the negative luggage that comes with it, i wouldn't trade be alternative for ANYTHING.
it's a fun and amazing experience, as well as interesting. it's also a way to express myself, i guess.

before i go, you may notice that the bad section is lengthier. that's because of the first portion, way
more words used, and added personal experiences. this does not mean that being alternative has
more cons than pros to it. there's probably WAY more pros than cons and i couldn't think of any.
lmfao. carry along, now! sending luv to whoever is reading this! :-)


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